I can hardly believe the day is here. I am more excited these days than scared. I am over the fear and worry and on to the fun and joy. I get to decorate my way at last! Walls with color! I won't get to paint before I move in, but will soon after. This is a day I have dreamed about for years. I worked so hard to get where I am to be able to afford a new home let alone a brand new home built to my liking. Oh there are things I already want to change, but I am going to enjoy it like it is for now. Give me 2 or three year after the hot tub goes in and I will have new kitchen counter tops. Well I need to finish getting ready and load up my car as best as I can for the first trip. See you in a small town in Texas very soon!
Friday, January 27, 2006
Sunday, January 22, 2006
After nearly 6 months without any signficant amount of rain, It is a rainy, drizzly, cold, miserable stay in doors type of day and I LOVE typing that. It has been so long since it has rained here in texas, I think I forgot what it looked like. What I used to think were rain clouds I have gotten used to thinking of as smoke clouds from all the wild fires. It could rain a nice slow rain for a week, well at least until next Thursday and I would not complian. I don't want it to rain the day I start moving especially not after months of no rain!
A long time, close to my heart freind call me early this morning to give me one of his harassing wake up and go to church phone calls. I think he was more surprised to know that I had been up since 5am. He was actually calling to check on me after a recent heart heart to heart conversation we had. He's one of those wonderful people God brought in my life when I was a teenager to help me get through the death of my father 20 years ago and now seems to call during the toughest times in my life. Seems a little odd how he always calls when I am down and out. He has a family and a new business, and yet makes a little time for me in his busy life and I am very blessed to call him my freind. We have been through the ups and downs of life together yet we have remained such good friends. A few years ago he sat me down and shook some since into me about how hard I am on myself. He got me out of a funk with some harsh, honest words. I became this new creature with his guidance and god's love. But over the past year or so I have some how have become this old self again. But you know what this time I know how to become that better Valita again. I have the tools. My heart may hurt for a long time over what I am going through now, but I will not be beaten by this. I have a right to feel what I feel and say what I feel. Friends should be able to get upsetw ith each other and forgive and move on, and if someone does not forgive me, then that is their issue not mine! If they do not have the guts to pick up the phone to call and tell me I am forgiven then that is their issue as well!
I am more angry at myself that I have let this get to me for nearly 3 weeks now. I will not become bitter over this, angry ok but not bitter. I get more angry by the day and ya know what I have a right to be right now! I am worth more and deserve to be treated better than this!
I have new home and new life waiting for me! I am going to make 2006 my best year ever!