Thursday, September 06, 2007

Always Remember to Wear Underwear

I have a few things on my mind so this blog may ramble on a bit. I went to My Mom's yesterday after taking my dog, Walker to the vet. He acted like he had some problems with his "boy parts". (When my 7 1/2 year old niece asked me what those things were on him, the quickest answer I could muster were "those are his boy parts". Luckily she was fine with that answer and away we went no more questions about boy parts on dogs of real boys for that matter.) At the Vet's my sweet little Walker preceded to act like the big dog that he surely isn't and barked at everyone and every dog that came in the door, let alone he stressed himself out so much he threw up twice. Needless to say the Vet called him a spaz and this is the second time he has been called that. It is a part of his breed, trust me, but I guess part of him is a spaz when he wants to be. They also called him sassy; he likes to talk back. LOL. So luckily nothing was wrong with him other than his "boy parts" hurt him and he should be neutered. She, the vet, says it will calm Mr spaz down a bit and the pain he has been experiencing with his "boy parts", the round type parts, will go away. So they proceed to tell me I will need to shut him up for 5 days and keep him calm. They must not know my spazy dog to well. I will try for 2 days to keep him calm but for 3 days after that it's hopeless.

So upon driving to my Mom's after the vet I rounded the corner to her house and was greeted by a site I would have preferred to not see. Everyone Please wear underwear when you go to get your mail in a short skirt! I noticed an older lady, one in her 50's so says my Mom, in a very short aqua blue skirt running to her mail box( and an 80's short knit yoked flounce skirt at that), not sure why I noticed her at the moment she turned from her mailbox to run inside but I did and I was mooned. This skirt was very short for a woman of her age and as she turned the wind blew up her skirt up and low and behold NO UNDERWEAR! She never made an attempt to tug it down. Did she not know she just flashed anyone who passed by and/or that she didn't have an underwear on? Did she not feel the air on her rear? It didn't just flip up once by several times on her way back to her door. I was laughing in hysterics at this point, so please, please wear underwear when you go to pick up your mail in a short skirt. I am pretty sure your neighbors would only prefer to see one moon when they go outside! LOL.

Also in my mom's neighborhood I can't help but smile every time I pass by another neighbor's mailbox. A while ago I noticed a rather large umbrella stuck in the ground right next to a mailbox. It wasn't open the first few times I saw this brightly colored umbrella, but a few times later it was open. This got me to wondering. Why does a person in Texas need an umbrella open next to their mailbox in the hottest months of the year or anytime of the year for that matter? My next drive by later I realized what these crazy neighbors were doing. It was a doozy, they were providing shade to a plant! LOL. They planted a plant right next to their mailbox that is a shade loving plant, meaning you do NOT plant this plant in the bright hot Texas summer sun, so I guess they were determined to plant this plant right next to their mailbox and in order to give it the shade it needs, they go out each morning to open and at night to close the umbrella. They are also smart enough to not open it when it rains. I have yet to see anyone doing this but it is being done trust me. I laugh and shake my head every time I drive by. What will they do next? What else in my mom's neighborhood will give me a laugh?

Wait there is the time the lady down my mom's street hit my brother's parked car and accused my Mother of hitting her car! My sister called the police that night right after she heard a noise out front and discovered what had happened. The police made a report and left stating not much could be done since there wasn't a way to prove who did it. Well, the next day a police officer knocks at my Mom's door and accuses my mom of hitting the neighbor's car down the street and leaving the scene of the crime? What the heck? Yep you bet, a lady down the street called the police the next morning to make a report that her van had been hit, the police go out and she gave them her sweet sad story about how her husband died a few months ago and she has all these kids and how she was out late for the first time in months with a friend, a male friend, when they woke up the next morning to discover her car had been hit and she directed them to my mother's doorstep! She knew it was mom Mom's car because they drive by and saw that my moms car had a big dent in it. The sad part is that the police went to my mom's door accusing my Mom and/or Sister of hit and run. The police did not ask or question, he accused because this sweet widow with these small kids could not possibly be at fault. I mean how could it be this sweet young widow? My sister was like no way I called the police last night when it happened and this car has not moved all weekend, my brother was out of town and left his car parked in front of my mom's house for the weekend. The policeman still accuses my mom and sister of lying because " the car with the most damage is nearly always at fault!" Have you ever heard such baloney! My mother was like what color paint is on her car? Who has more of the wrong paint color on their car? Most of the wrong color paint on my brother's car was on the ground next to the car and it some cases was a few feet away from the car you know like it had been hit and the paint flew! duh! So the policeman picks up a few paint chips and walks back down the street. Not saying much more to my mom and sister. He then comes back and says she admitted she did it so he goes to my Mom what do you want me to do? If I charge her with hit and run she will be arrested and she has small kids. He was giving my Mom her sob story and if the tale had been turned and the lady had not admitted to her crime this policeman would have continued to believe this lady's story and my Mom could have been arrested and charged with hit and run and issued a citation. My Mom says she needs to be charged with hit and run that is what she did right? (She has small children he is very concerned about but what is she doing them teaching them to lie?) Let alone my Mom is also a widow who had been in and out of the hospital 5 times in the past 10 months and could not afford to have a car fixed or the deposit! (It's a car that is in my Mom's name not my brother's, another long story there) In the end he did not charge her with hit and run or for calling in a false report like he should have. Trust me if I had been there, the next day I would have been making a call to this policeman's Sargent and reporting him! I was ticked off when I heard this story! She did get a citation and her insurance had to pay for both cars to be fixed.

Let's go back to that night for a second, she stated she had been out the night before and we know she it the car and ran from the scene of the crime, hmmm maybe just maybe you think she had been drinking and driving and don't you think this policeman should have been smart enough to realize this? She told him she got scared! Yep, so scared that the next morning she woke up, decide to connect a story, called the police and LIED! Isn't that what you do when you are scared! You call the police and commit another crime?!? Now let's just say her insurance person laughed his rear off when he heard the story, he laughed as he spoke to my sister on the phone to get her side of the story, because as he stated no one would have known if this lady had not opened her mouth to lie. Yep my Mother has some bright neighbor's. I can only wonder what additional smart antics they will be up to next. I will keep you posted. I am sure there will be something else someone does to make me laugh!