Jan 2011

Ok so Ive been gone awhile, but I am back. Not sure why I stopped blogging in 2009 but I did and now I am back. Last year was a whirlwind or a blur, it flew by after June. 2010 wasn't a good year for me health wise but 2011 is one I am going to make my best year ever. My position at work has changed and for the first time since 1998 I am not cutting Po's on an every day basis. It was strange at first but I love what I do now focusing on suppliers and negotiations. I still have items to wrap up from my old position but am I slowly passing them all of to others.

So what do I want from this year for my life? This is a question I've been asking myself teh last few days. I want to be a healthier me, a more creative me, a more spiritual me and a more organized me. I haven't started the healthier part yet, I'll be honest but I will. As for a more creative me, I've sewn three PJ bottoms last week from fabric I had on hand, now to get finished up a Valentine swap I am in.

The Organized me go busy yesterday and in putting up all my Christmas decorations and tree, I cleaned, purged and organized my items as well as cleaned out a closet in my bedroom I use as a storage closet. I could not walk in the closet before yesterday. Now I have plenty of room and not much was taken out just reoragnized and cleaned up better. I tossed some things and added a few things to a donate box. Got rid of a full paper case box of paper. I do need to buy some of those spacemaker bags to store some of my college fashion designs, this will free up more space in the closet.

As for the Spiritual me I started searching on line for a local church to attend; I found one that looked like one I should check out in Sachse. And I am amazed how wonderful God works because last week I made contact with an old friend through Facebook and it just so happens her and her family go to that exact church. So Jan 16th I'll be going to church for the first time in a long time. I'm excited, I need to find a new church home. I miss having a church family. My soul needs to be back in church and I need to find a church that treats all its members like family and not a church about membership numbers, focused on kids or one so easily ready to throw you out with the bathwater after 20 years. I guess after 5 years there are still wounds there from what this church did and still does to its members. Very sad as it was once a wonderful home but it has become such a sad place. I can never recommend anyone to ever attend this church if they are looking for a church home. If they have lots of money, kids, and are new believers in Christ then it may be a church home for you, but if you are single, don't have a lot of money or social prestige, no kids, and a solid long time believer in Christ then run ands fast as you can away from this church. I often wonder what my number was? I didn't have a name after 20 years, I just had a number. And one really doesn't need to have a Senior Pastor with Napoleon syndrome. It's also very sad this church is being run like a business but then takes all the advantages from the government in being a non profit. I am sorry but if you admit openly you run your church like and business and you act like the CEO then you need to treat your hired paid full time employees like any other company would and provide them benefits. I am sorry but I do not need to go to a church run like a business with a wanna be CEO. At least when MY work CEO calls a meeting He ATTENDS that meeting and does not send a proxy to be the bearing of bad news! What a coward this pastor was to do this. Yes, not very leader like, or CEO like but more Cowardly Lion and Tinwoodsman Like. Cowardly and Heartless. In fact I do not want my new pastor to be CEO like, I want him or her to be Shepardly like so when a sheep falls aside they go looking for their lost sheep and don't just leave their sheep out in the field, cold or ready to be devoured by the wolf or the elements. I have written a letter so many times over and over again to this Pastor. I still have it saved and often think I need to mail it to help my heart and soul heal. It would help me to let go of my anger towards this man and this church. I want to start my year with a less burdened heart and every time I think I have gotten over this I realize I am still carrying around a lot of angr and I keep going back to my letter. Do I mail it or not? Do I want or care about a response? Not really. In fact, no I don't I think so, it would just be a way for me to let go, but am I ready to let go and move on? That is the question my hearts ponders. I know it must be time as my heart is saying move on and let go. To start fresh and new I must release the past and all that goes with it. This IS going to be my best year ever!

WELCOME 2011 It's time for a CHANGE!