2008

I can not belive I have not posted since December 13rth. It has been a rough few weeks. I had part of my family over for Christmas Eve night and day. My house is not that large but I wanted us together for the night. When I say us I mean the "us" of my family that is not married. My oldest brother and his wife and huge house, but we, the "us mentioned above" have never been asked over ot spend the night on Christmas Eve night. Her entier family has done it but none of us. It actually works out great since we are used to getting up in the morning eating breakfast and then opening our gifts, this year it was changed up a bit since My brother, Damon has a girlfriend now and she has a young believing son who all spent the night at my house. This year we all got up opened gifts and then ate breakfast, but it worked out since my other brother and his family didn't open gifts until around 4pm or so. Now how they managed to keep their 8 and 4 year old back away from the gifts except for santa gifts is beyond me, but my SIL just didn't feel like dealing with opening gifts until way after dinner and the kitchen was cleaned or so. I mean what a way to ruin a holiday for a kid by not allowing them to open gifts until very late in the day. So when I say it all worked out it did since the "us mentioned above" like opening our gifts early in the morning.

Christmas Eve night my home was full it included my mom, sister, brother his girlfriend and her young son, my couins , her husband, and their two childern, plus 2 cats and 2 large dogs and my small Walker. (The only way I coul dget my family over for the night was for them to bring their dogs with them and it actually worked. Theonly thing broken was a very old ornament that used to belong to my Grandmother and it was done by an adult and child rough housing as my family says. I saved the pieces to make glass glitter and hopefully create a special ornament with the glitter.

The tree is all put away and only a few stragling pieces of decorations are left out to be put away. i could not belive it when I counted over 53 Hallmark Wizard of Oz ornaments and some of those boxes have more than one ornament in them, 27 Ashton Drake Wiz Ornaments and another 2 or 3 dozen of various random wiz ornaments, plus about 5 dozen glass, acrylic and glitter ornaments that were on my tree! No wonder it took me so long to put it up. How did I ever think I didn't have enough Wizard of oz ornaments to fill a tree until now is beyond me.

I didn't do anything special to celebrate 2008. I am in a bit of a funk and feeling a bit lonely these days. Ever have one of those days where you just want someone to love you and hold you while you cry in their arms, well that is how I feell only that no one is ever in my life to do that and it sucks to be honest. I want a man in my life and it just never happens for me and this year it has hit me hard that I am alone yet again. I want this feeling to go away, but I am not sure how to shake it just now. I am very happy for my freinds that are married and even happier for those that are having babies this year, but I am sad because it isn't me. How many times do I have to ask God when is it ever going to be my time and at this point will I still be able to have a child at my age? So if I am not posting for a bit it is because I am bit down these days.